How Investors Can Learn From The Five Regrets Of The Dying

27th Apr '12 by Edward Croft

4 comments 3557 reads

I read a lot of blogs, and one of the memes echoing from wall to wall out there on the blogosphere originates from a book written by an Australian nurse called ‘The Top Five Regrets of the Dying’. Having spent years working in palliative care she shared the longings of the departing which were then summarised neatly in a Guardian article published under the same name.

Given that the market is so aimless right now, but everyone seems so busy, I’ve grown reflective of the some of the things that are important in life and why it is that we avoid them. So much of life is, as Warren Buffett often describes investing, ‘simple but not easy’ and the odd character of the five regrets is that they are so obvious, yet so commonly ignored.

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
I wish I’d stayed in touch with my friends.
I wish I had let myself be happier.

Take that fishing trip?

It might seem strange coming from the founder of an investment website to say this, but the truth is that investing just isn’t that important - certainly not to make those sacrifices. Jesse Livermore once said ‘There is a time to buy, a time to sell, and a time to go fishing’ but it seems so few of us ever take the fishing trip. If only we were able to step back from our daily obsessions maybe we wouldn’t suffer the same fate as those souls now departed. There’s a cost to everything, and the cost of working so hard can be lost friendships, stress and missing out on doing the things you really love to do. The grail we should all be after is to find ways to simplify our work and investing processes to reach a point of maximum effectiveness for the time spent, not over-reaching for the extra yards which eventually show their cost in other parts of our lives.

James Montier is one of my favourite investment writers who has waxed so eloquently about the travails and delusions of investors. He has shown time and again that most of the work that we do is…

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MadDutch

27th Apr '12

I do not agree. There are more than 5, Edward. You missed the most important.

Several years ago, probably in The Sunday Times, there was a similar article by a researcher from Finland if my memory is correct. He or she visited people living but in the process of dying, in hospices and asked them what was their greatest regret.

To the interviewer's surprise, one answer was in a very large majority over all the others. Their greatest regret was that they did not have more sex when they were able to do so. I believe your Australian nurse had the same answer but was too embarrassed to report it.

I kept the article for 2 reasons. First, I worked as a sexual marital therapist in the 1970s, helping couples keep their marriages alive, and I keep a lot of notes (but not names). Secondly, I am very happy with my life and when my time comes, I will have wonderful memories, a big smile from ear to ear, and be very grateful to my creator.

Coming to your 5 points;
1. I agree. I have always been true to myself, and have two fingers reserved for them that disapprove.
2. I disagree. I have always worked hard, and enjoyed every moment of it.
3. As this reply proves, I have never hesitated when expressing feelings, except when it could harm others.
4. I am not good at keeping in touch, but my best friend of 54 years, partner for 11, and wife for 6; is excellent at keeping friendships alive. If anyone here really wants to be embarrassed, ask how we met! (Clue, I was unconscious at the time and learnt only recently what she did. The story is her favourite dinner speech).
5. I have answered that above.

Things have been very quiet here lately. I hope this livens up the debate.

Mike

Edward Croft

Ha! You have reminded me of that wonderful interview with John Betjeman...

"Towards the end of his life, Sir John Betjeman was asked if he had any regrets. "Yes," came the disarmingly frank reply. "Not enough sex.""

Edward, my wife has fond memories of meeting you in the pub after the Soco AGM two years ago, and sends you her regards.

Mike

PS I was always very fond of Sir John Betjemen.

SparksTrader

29th Apr '12

Belated I know Ed, but probably one of your best [add-on] articles, simply because you have shown a glimpse of yourself.

How investors can learn from the five regrets of the dying

Take that fishing trip?

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Edward Croft

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